1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize