So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
