i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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