Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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