I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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