It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
