she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
