escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
