Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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