why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
