Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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