HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
