There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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