Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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