I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
