you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
