Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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