So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
