I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
