all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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