Nicole vs. Life
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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