Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
