11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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