im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
