I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
