you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
