thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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