Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
