You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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