all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
