even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
