Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
