The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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