she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
