we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
