whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
