brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
