his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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