I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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