Your face is a jimmy john
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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