ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Drunk is not a location!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
