I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
