Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
