So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
