Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
