I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
