You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
