Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
