No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
