its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I want a musical about memes.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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