I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
