Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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