so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
