I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
