I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize