dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
