I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
