My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
