Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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