just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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