I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
