Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
