He told me they were just razor bumps!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
