I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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