i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize