i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
